This month has been up and down. I’ve been battling a flare for pretty much the whole month. I can’t really work landscaping anymore for a few reasons, I can’t commit to a full time schedule, the nature of the job exposes me to way too many allergens and irritants and my boss’ sympathy for my situation is wearing thin.
I also had a dermatologist appointment today, my 4th one since I started TSW and most likely my last consultation with one. He was pretty understanding and agreed with me about the side effects of TCS and that I overused them. However, he still recommended that I take oral prednisone to get my skin under control. I don’t doubt that prednisone would clear up my skin but I really believe that this will end up being a band aid treatment and once the round of meds are done I’ll have a rebound flare and will having further delayed my healing. Honestly, when it comes to eczema treatments, dermatology is still very much in the dark ages and they seem to think that corticosteroids are the only treatment.
My current condition sucks to be sure, but I have more or less learned to manage it and I really couldn’t bear starting this ordeal over from the start just to get a few weeks of temporary relief. Some people will call me brave for this decision and others, I’m sure, will call me stupid for disregarding doctors orders. What I really am is scared. I’m scared that my current condition is going to be the status quo for the rest of my life and I’m scared of taking medication that will leave me off in a worse place than I am now. Both paths are terrifying and rife with uncertainty.